Monday, February 28, 2011
Saturday, February 26, 2011
We got a nice note from him in the comments section of our last blog post, which might have actually helped call attention to his need for added staff. No matter. He took issue with...whatever:
To Whom It May Concern,
Returning to Southfork Kitchen in mid-March will be the executive chef, sous chef, chef de partie, beverage manager, two cooks, two servers, two runners, porters and dishwashers. We are looking for more people because we expect the spring and summer to require a larger staff than the winter, and we want to spread the good fortune. In an industry that tends to have a lot of turnover, especially in a seasonal location, we think we are doing all right. But thanks for noticing.
By the way, I was building a restaurant before I became a blogger, not the other way around. Sincerely,
Owner, Southfork Kitchen
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
- invites to the hottest parties (pretty important)
- a chance to write for an "established brand" like Haute Living (very important)
- opportunities to make "high-end" contacts (how high-end? How about Gwyneth Paltrow's pool-boy?!)
- a way to expand your online presence (the most important)
- an opportunity to fine-tune your suicide note
Good luck. But remember, you must be willing to document your drool on Facebook. And the Twitter.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Saturday, February 19, 2011
So, last year, even though helicopters have been in existence for a long time, helicopters suddenly became too noisy to bear. All the residents in East Hampton who flew there by helicopter, went out in their back yards, looked up at the sky and frowned at all the noisy helicopters. So they formed a committee, called the Permission to Use Anti-Aircraft Ground Artillery Committee. It was exclusively an East Hampton committee, because, basically, the only people who can afford to fly above the bridge and tunnel crowd heading out to the Hamptons, can also afford to live in East Hampton. They were all set to submit recommendations to the FAA to curb the noise that was clearly ruining their already difficult sunning, bathing, tennis, equestrian, partying, catered-lunch lives.
Then the rug got pulled out from under them, and the Permission to Use Anti-Aircraft Ground Artillery Committee got disbanded in favor of a committee that is made up of people from a number of townships on the East End, including (gulp) the very black, fairly poor, Riverhead.
Now the East Hampton committee, which was informed by the town board it wasn't special at a meeting last week, is completely livid. They feel like a multi-town approach would have "competing interests"--mainly, East Hampton's interest in seeing the helicopters buzz very black, fairly poor Riverhead and those hicks in Southold rather than them. If Riverhead and Southold are allowed to have voices in the new committee, they might actually prevent East Hampton residents from being able to fly into their homes without the troublesome inconvenience of noise. To that end, members of the now disbanded committee want this new committee to carry with it a majority East Hampton representation.
“There was no willingness to consider routes that would spread the noise,” Mr. Ehrens wrote in his letter, noting that “even then, one of the towns [Riverhead] failed to sign on.”
So Riverhead was basically saying, look...nobody who flies out here from the city is daring to get in a cab and visit very black Riverhead. The helicopter passengers are primarily East Hampton residents, so why should we allow those helicopters to fly over our airspace when the passengers aren't even coming here to live, or spend their dollars?
Oh, shut up, Riverhead.
Friday, February 18, 2011
There you go.
Sign your trademarked product isn't going to catch on? Having to explain what the heck it is in the subheading of your press release:
Cupcake Lounge™ Capitalizes on the Cupcake Craze with Cuptails™. Combine Cupcakes with Cocktails and you Get Cuptails™, Cupcakes for Adults"
Sunday, February 13, 2011
This week's installment is one of those blog posts that give pretext for the author to go on about his social status. We're all impressed with his former Upper West Side address, just as we are impressed with his unproven taste in restaurants. But...it was nice to hear about some restaurants that deliver to your door, and Patrick supplies a nice list, even if, in the middle of a post about how lazy he is to get in his car to satiate himself, he tells his readers to get off our lazy butts and look up the phone numbers and addresses of the eateries.
Of course he did. What would a self-important, superior Patrick McLaughlin blog post be without a little Grrrrrr in it?
Thursday, February 10, 2011
We knew it wouldn't be long before someone with a serious case of self-delusion, brought on by parabens from the tanning booth saturating an already fragile brain, would jump onto the comments section of our recent post regarding the hopefully upcoming reality show "Strong Island." And that delusional asshat didn't disappoint.
This show will blow up just like Jersey Shore. I hope to be on it, and then I hope to walk into your office and show you my fat paycheck, now that should give you something to write about.
Well, "Anonymous," (and your name is very fitting) here's to hoping that you are on anything...television or otherwise...that blows up.
For bonus points, feel free to give this guy a name. I vote for Joey Basement.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Buschel is a recovered writer, editor, filmmaker, and whatever else draws him attention. We're still waiting for him to release his own fragrance: Eu de Poorly Run Restaurant. He owns "Southfork Kitchen," a fish-house located on what is locally referred to as the Bridgehampton Turnpike: a double-yellow stretch of highway that bypasses all the cops and the need for safe driving. His restaurant doesn't need a menu-change: it needs an overpass!
Anyway, since he opened his fish-house, (local fish only, so we hope you like Ling and Porgies) he's had the unique luxury of blogging about it in the NYT (he even had the gall to review his own restaurant!) He's an absolutely perfect specimen for the Hamptons. Except...his blog posts are kind of obnoxious. And his ideas on how to run a restaurant are kind of um...idiotic. His commenters think so, and this week Bruce decided he'd had enough, and got cunty with em'.
Dear Wasting time,
I see how you earned your name. We had 60 people coming for dinner and six staffers protesting. You would have called the guests? People get hurt on the ski slopes. You would close them down?
Ooh, burn. So we're trying to decipher Buschel's tack here. Either he has no concept that bitching out commenters on his blog is sort of a bad PR strategy for his restaurant, OR...he's trying to channel the success of McSorley's Ale House on 7th street, which is famous not only for its microbrew of the same name, but for its notoriously cranky bar staff. Either way, he has learned one effective strategy for running a Hamptons restaurant in January/February. Close down.