Sunday, February 17, 2013

Hilaria Thomas teaches Yoga like her husband speaks to 'Moss.' (Allegedly)

So says a recent civil suit filed in a Manhattan court yesterday by a man who claimed he suffered "serious injury" and "emotional upset" after attending one of Hilaria's apparently hard-core yoga classes.

According to the suit, filed by Spencer Wolff, the injury was not caused by his own freakish ability to actually get injured while lying on the ground holding your leg in the air, but by the "negligence" of Alec's wife. Also, he claims, the class was overcrowded, which contributed to the horrific carnage at Yoga Vida last month.

We think she might have said something like:

"You think this is abuse? You think this is abuse, you cocksucker, you can't take this, how can you take the abuse you get on a sit?"

Glengarry references aside, as much as our reflexes would tell us to quickly smack anyone in Manhattan named "Spencer Wolff," we'll have to see what comes of the suit.

Mostly, we can't wait to hear how Dan's Papers plans to spin this one. It might even cause us serious injury.

Sunday, February 3, 2013

Not just a failure in business, a failure in life

We're more than just curious about the mental processes of whoever posted this Craigslist ad looking for a "Millionaire Mentor," we're curious if anyone responded!

"I am a failure in my professional career and need to reinvent myself and get my head screwed on straight," the ad laments. It's so full of self-loathing and so unclear in specifics ("I have no direction or focus and need to be put on the right track") that it reads less like a Help Wanted ad and more like a search term for a good dominatrix.

Poor creature. We don't know a lot of millionaires, but we'd venture to guess that most would never want to work with someone who describes themselves in such terms as this ad.

Then again, times are tough for everyone.