We're not sure if this could possibly be true, but Page Six is reporting (while in the process of reporting a silly non-story about Kourtney Kardashian not tipping the wait staff at the Driver's Seat) that the Kardashians are renting their space from Driver's Seat owner Irma Herzog for free.
Is this true? Man, that's some hippie shit right there. We're going to try and reach out to Herzog for comment, but that would seem like an odd business strategy. Sure having them there brings foot traffic to the Driver's Seat for hungry stalkers, but renting out an entire space on Jobs Lane for nary a dime? How could she swing that?
Let us know if there's any truth to this, or if the New York Post is doing what the New York Post is good at doing. Making shit up.
As for the main part of the story: in all likelihood, if they were filming a scene for their stupid show, the production staff probably handled the bill and tip, so that whoever was being shot in the scene didn't have to reach into their wallet and go through all the rigmarole. Calm down people.
Showing posts with label journalism and stuff. Show all posts
Showing posts with label journalism and stuff. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 10, 2014
Friday, June 6, 2014
Kardashian's Landlord Hounded For Trying To Earn A Buck
So once again we are faced with the completely illogical phenomenon that is the Kardashians. Specifically we're referring to how successful their TV show is, despite the fact that seemingly the whole world wants them to pretty much die.
Fresh offtotally reliable news outlet Page Six of the New York Post, the villagers of Southampton are sharpening their pitchforks and lighting their torches to snuff out Irma Herzog. Her crime? Not responsibly going on welfare for the greater good of Keeping Out With the Kardashians. Herzog is the owner of The Driver's Seat and apparently the space adjacent to the long-standing eatery, which she rented out to the Kardashian girls for their pop-up store "Dash," which they'll be running for the duration of their reality TV show: "Muppets Take The Hamptons."
Come on. Girl gotta eat.
Ever since word got out that Herzog dared to make a buck by leasing the space, she's been the subject of "harassment and torment," according to the article, which also quoted Jerry Della Femina, who oddly enough didn't blame Obama for the rented space. "She should be brought up on charges," said Della Femina, the Hamptons' resident right-wing lunatic. Suddenly he's anti-capitalism. Funny how that works.
[Hand raised]
-Yes, Hamptonyte Blog, do you have a question?
HB: We do...um...did the people of Southampton honestly think the entire production, public relations, advertising and network team that runs the Kardashian TV franchise would just pack up their trailers and cameras and leave because they couldn't find a place to rent?
-Yes, Hamptonyte Blog, yes, they apparently did.
[Face palm]
SIDEBAR:
We don't watch any of the Kardashian shows, so could someone tell us if Kourtney has trouble walking or something? Why is it that every picture of the two girls in the Hamptons shows Khloe leading her sister around like a pet Orangutan?
Observe:
Fresh off
Come on. Girl gotta eat.
Ever since word got out that Herzog dared to make a buck by leasing the space, she's been the subject of "harassment and torment," according to the article, which also quoted Jerry Della Femina, who oddly enough didn't blame Obama for the rented space. "She should be brought up on charges," said Della Femina, the Hamptons' resident right-wing lunatic. Suddenly he's anti-capitalism. Funny how that works.
[Hand raised]
-Yes, Hamptonyte Blog, do you have a question?
HB: We do...um...did the people of Southampton honestly think the entire production, public relations, advertising and network team that runs the Kardashian TV franchise would just pack up their trailers and cameras and leave because they couldn't find a place to rent?
-Yes, Hamptonyte Blog, yes, they apparently did.
[Face palm]
SIDEBAR:
We don't watch any of the Kardashian shows, so could someone tell us if Kourtney has trouble walking or something? Why is it that every picture of the two girls in the Hamptons shows Khloe leading her sister around like a pet Orangutan?
Observe:
Thursday, December 12, 2013
Dan's Pumps Up Local Authors
Still smarting from literary events getting hijacked by movie stars with ghost-written cookbooks, to quote Jay McInerney?
Just a few short months after the East Hampton Library's 9 Annual Authors Night, which looked more like Black Friday at Walmart USA when Gwyneth Paltrow and Alec Baldwin showed up, Dan's Papers put together a nicely researched poster of local authors whose books might make for some stocking stuffers.
Oliver Peterson drafted "5 Picks For Readers and Writers," and it was impressive not only to see some of the old guard (Steinbeck, Vonnegut) but that serious contemporary writers got a mention. Kaylie Jones' novels "Speak Now" and "A Soldier's Daughter Never Cries" features along with Hilary Thayer Hamann, whose novel "Anthropology of an American Girl" saw more resurrections than an episode of AMC's "Walking Dead."
Jones used to teach at Southampton College and continued on as a professor in the MFA in Creative Writing program when Stony Brook University took over the campus. Not sure if she's still there, but she recently stinted as the editor of Akashic's Noir series where she contributed a short story based in the Hamptons. Translation: her Hamptons ties run deep, unlike some others we won't mention. (Ahem--tomwolfe-Ahem) Excuse us.
AWESOME: Not seeing Nelson Demille's cover on the tapestry
NOT AWESOME: Seeing Dan Rattiner's "In The Hamptons" on the tapestry. Come'on, man. I know he's your boss and all, but...
ALSO...surprised to see James Frey on the tapestry, as I had no idea he spent any time in the Hamptons. Good for him. (Always thought he got a raw deal over the whole Oprah thing. There's truth and then there's emotional truth.)
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
David Rattiner: 'Hamptons in the winter rain isn't boring'

The Hamptons isn't boring in the winter when it rains, he posits. Shoot, I go to the movies! I'll even plan to go to one movie (Les Miserables') and then suddenly change my mind and see Django instead; that's how off the chains I am in the Hamptons. Or I'll read a book. Or work on a novel.
We think David should open up a suicide hotline that convinces people ordinarily not contemplating suicide to go ahead and do so.
Also, David...Les Miserables'? You're fired from manhood. Turn in your testicles before you leave.
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
East Hampton Star Tries to Say With a Straight Face That The Rich Are Genuinely Philanthropic
Exclaiming "In your face!" in its opening line, this East Hampton Star article wants you to know it will be every bit as obnoxious as...well...as its opening line.
The "in your face" taunt is aimed at HuffPo and CNBC, presumably because they are the Sean Penn and Tim Robbins of journalism--perennial bogeymen of the paranoid right. According to this piece, the national survey (reported on by HuffPo and CNBC, because...well their job is to report) about the lackluster charity offered up by the wealthiest 1% is wrong because East Hampton's 1% give more than the middle class in the same area. The article, entitled The Rich Really Do Give More, by Larry LaVigne III, is a clinic in how to manipulate statistics. And also how to be a douche. A douche, yes, but not a huge douche, for the article does have its caveats.
Anyone who lives out here knows exactly why and how the wealthy in East Hampton spend "8.5%" of their discretionary income on charity. SWAG. STEP AND REPEATS.
At the very least, this article brings in one expert who, at the very least, hints at this reality.
“The strong and welcomed presence of nonprofits and the causes they support may keep charity top-of-mind for residents, and at a certain level of income and lifestyle, philanthropy becomes a regular part of social life.”
Lavigne tries to downplay this very poignant remark by referring to these lavish parties as merely a stab at some free drinks.
"But is it more than an open bar of top-shelf cocktails in exchange for a five- or even six-figure ticket?"
Yes it is more. It's a LOT more. And you know this, LaVigne. We've heard of some cases where the free gift bags handed out at charity events added to a total value of $15,000. Add that to the allure of being photographed by local and national press, and rubbing elbows with famous actors, musicians, reality TV stars, and you can clearly see why the well-heeled turn out in droves. And arm flab.
Care for more BS?
Quote: “A lot of Alec Baldwin’s fans come out to show support when he is tied to an event, but we have soooo much diverse talent that works with Guild Hall,” [Barbara Jo Howard, director of marcomms at Guild Hall] said."
Translation: Alec Baldwin's draw represents 99% of the money raised, while every other program running there suffers from Giveashit-itis.
Put simply, if East Hampton's rich were so giving of their discretionary income, why does EVERY SINGLE charity event held in the Hamptons have to wheel some celebrity out in front like Hannibal Lecter in Silence of the Lambs? Answer: Because nobody would go otherwise. It's not supernatural.
What? MORE BS?
Quote: Even though the wealthy may give a lesser percentage of their income elsewhere, the study finds that the richest Americans still contribute the vast majority of dollars to charitable causes.
Really. You know, I would have given my $10,000 to Save the Beleagered Manatees, but somehow my invitation to the Gala in East Hampton got lost in the mail. There's a reason why the rich give to charitable causes, because charitable causes ASK them to, you dolt!
Oh, East Hampton Star. You make me want to beat an angel to death with a little girl's puppy.
The "in your face" taunt is aimed at HuffPo and CNBC, presumably because they are the Sean Penn and Tim Robbins of journalism--perennial bogeymen of the paranoid right. According to this piece, the national survey (reported on by HuffPo and CNBC, because...well their job is to report) about the lackluster charity offered up by the wealthiest 1% is wrong because East Hampton's 1% give more than the middle class in the same area. The article, entitled The Rich Really Do Give More, by Larry LaVigne III, is a clinic in how to manipulate statistics. And also how to be a douche. A douche, yes, but not a huge douche, for the article does have its caveats.
Anyone who lives out here knows exactly why and how the wealthy in East Hampton spend "8.5%" of their discretionary income on charity. SWAG. STEP AND REPEATS.
At the very least, this article brings in one expert who, at the very least, hints at this reality.
“The strong and welcomed presence of nonprofits and the causes they support may keep charity top-of-mind for residents, and at a certain level of income and lifestyle, philanthropy becomes a regular part of social life.”
Lavigne tries to downplay this very poignant remark by referring to these lavish parties as merely a stab at some free drinks.
"But is it more than an open bar of top-shelf cocktails in exchange for a five- or even six-figure ticket?"
Yes it is more. It's a LOT more. And you know this, LaVigne. We've heard of some cases where the free gift bags handed out at charity events added to a total value of $15,000. Add that to the allure of being photographed by local and national press, and rubbing elbows with famous actors, musicians, reality TV stars, and you can clearly see why the well-heeled turn out in droves. And arm flab.
Care for more BS?
Quote: “A lot of Alec Baldwin’s fans come out to show support when he is tied to an event, but we have soooo much diverse talent that works with Guild Hall,” [Barbara Jo Howard, director of marcomms at Guild Hall] said."
Translation: Alec Baldwin's draw represents 99% of the money raised, while every other program running there suffers from Giveashit-itis.
Put simply, if East Hampton's rich were so giving of their discretionary income, why does EVERY SINGLE charity event held in the Hamptons have to wheel some celebrity out in front like Hannibal Lecter in Silence of the Lambs? Answer: Because nobody would go otherwise. It's not supernatural.
What? MORE BS?
Quote: Even though the wealthy may give a lesser percentage of their income elsewhere, the study finds that the richest Americans still contribute the vast majority of dollars to charitable causes.
Really. You know, I would have given my $10,000 to Save the Beleagered Manatees, but somehow my invitation to the Gala in East Hampton got lost in the mail. There's a reason why the rich give to charitable causes, because charitable causes ASK them to, you dolt!
Oh, East Hampton Star. You make me want to beat an angel to death with a little girl's puppy.
Sunday, September 9, 2012
Reynolds Dodson: We Goofed On You, But We Didn't Want You To Die
![]() |
Credit: The Southampton Press |
Some sad news coming out of the land made of happiness cocktails and bunnies' noses. Columnist for the Southampton Press Reynolds Dodson has died, after battling cancer. He was 74.
Dodson lived in Water Mill with his wife Susan, and contributed a column entitled "The View East," which won six New York Press Awards, according to this obit in the Press. He also authored a number of books and edited numerous magazines, including Family Weekly and Reader's Digest.
But it was his last book A Cockeyed Guide to the Hamptons that got our attention last year. We goofed on him (here) for the silly press release announcing the book, which was plastered on every free PR distribution site in existence. It spawned a checklist of how you too can be fakin' it till you're makin' it in the Hamptons. The release was clearly written by Dodson himself, and more than likely distributed himself. The book was self-published, self-promoted, and completely not self-aware, as it makes fun of people with pastel-colored shirts who carry dogs. (Umm, see picture above that ran in his obit.)
But...however hard we goof, however strongly we might seem to resent a person or their actions, however badly we may trample them for their seeming self-absorption, incestuous legitimacy, and fakery...we are not so heartless that we can't recognize that a human being who was loved, who was somebody's husband, son, colleague, or maybe even inspiration...has died. Ask not for whom the bell tolls, Hamptonyte Blog...the bell tolls for thee.
Except Ramona Singer from Real Housewives of New York. Fuck that bitch.
Saturday, September 8, 2012
Alec Baldwin's Wife Must Have Had A Shitty Dad
In another installment of Human Bratz Doll Gina Glickman-Giordan's hard-hitting investigation of the Hamptons we all know as "Whispers," our favorite brown-noser bopped all the way to "Yoga Gives" in Southampton and went all gonzo journalism on us.
Embedded in the dark trenches of an underworld known as Yogis, she braved degradation, humiliation, perspiration, and possibly even death to deliver us an insider's look at how the rich exorcise and cleanse from the horrors and stresses of being rich. Hunter S. Thompson would have been proud. Proud that he refrained from shooting her.
In either event, after dropping the very important fact that she was not wearing Yoga clothes, she was wearing her "Lululemon finest yoga attire," she got into the purpose of her visit. To seek out and delve deeply into the life and times of Hilaria Thomas Baldwin, newly minted wife of actor Alec Baldwin.
What did we learn? First and foremost that despite our constant urge to finish her name with an "S" by calling her "Hilarious," it's actually pronounced Ee-larry-ah, which, we also learned, is Spanish forGolddigger "happy."
We also learned that despite Eelarryah's seemingly cest-la-vie attitude and folksy aw-shucksism, she, like most wealthy women in the spotlight, is just as absorbed and cooky, and control-freaky about her body image. When she was apparently accused of donning a "baby bump" at a recent charity event, she tried to control her apeshit, but couldn't, and took to Twitter with: "Shld rumors that I’m pregnant give me a complex about my waistline? How slim do u have to be? This is a serious problem in society.”
Well, really it's just a problem for you, fatty. And clearly you already have a complex about your waistline. Enjoy your beer gut.
We also learned that putting a person's name in bold-face type doesn't make them a celebrity. Who knew?
But most importantly, we learned that Hilaria must have had a really lousy father. "I think anybody would be so lucky to have Alec as a dad.” (Bold-type Gina's, not ours. Of course.)
"I think anybody would be so lucky to have Alec as a dad.” Aw. We can understand where she's coming from. Just check out Alec's new line of Birthday Cards for Children Whose Age You're Unsure Of, Or If In Fact They Are Children At All below:
Bold-type...Ours.
Embedded in the dark trenches of an underworld known as Yogis, she braved degradation, humiliation, perspiration, and possibly even death to deliver us an insider's look at how the rich exorcise and cleanse from the horrors and stresses of being rich. Hunter S. Thompson would have been proud. Proud that he refrained from shooting her.
In either event, after dropping the very important fact that she was not wearing Yoga clothes, she was wearing her "Lululemon finest yoga attire," she got into the purpose of her visit. To seek out and delve deeply into the life and times of Hilaria Thomas Baldwin, newly minted wife of actor Alec Baldwin.
What did we learn? First and foremost that despite our constant urge to finish her name with an "S" by calling her "Hilarious," it's actually pronounced Ee-larry-ah, which, we also learned, is Spanish for
We also learned that despite Eelarryah's seemingly cest-la-vie attitude and folksy aw-shucksism, she, like most wealthy women in the spotlight, is just as absorbed and cooky, and control-freaky about her body image. When she was apparently accused of donning a "baby bump" at a recent charity event, she tried to control her apeshit, but couldn't, and took to Twitter with: "Shld rumors that I’m pregnant give me a complex about my waistline? How slim do u have to be? This is a serious problem in society.”
Well, really it's just a problem for you, fatty. And clearly you already have a complex about your waistline. Enjoy your beer gut.
We also learned that putting a person's name in bold-face type doesn't make them a celebrity. Who knew?
But most importantly, we learned that Hilaria must have had a really lousy father. "I think anybody would be so lucky to have Alec as a dad.” (Bold-type Gina's, not ours. Of course.)
"I think anybody would be so lucky to have Alec as a dad.” Aw. We can understand where she's coming from. Just check out Alec's new line of Birthday Cards for Children Whose Age You're Unsure Of, Or If In Fact They Are Children At All below:

Bold-type...Ours.
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Jill Zarin Proves Even in Reality Show Purgatory, She Can Still Be Huge Pain In The Ass
Sorry, but we thought that when Jill Zarin was banished to the Phantom Zone along with General Zod, Ursa, and Non, it would be the last we'd hear from her. She'd drift off into the galaxy entrapped in that pane of glass for the high treasonous crime of...being annoying.
We were wrong. Somehow she escaped, and caught the attention of our favorite Bubble Guppy Gina Glickman-Giordan. (And I get compliments on the hyphen)
You see, when Jill and her daughter Ally, (whom she shipped off to fat camp and documented the whole awful exchange on "Real Housewives of the Vacant and Soulless New York City") were out modestly contributing their time and money at the Super Saturday bargain sale for Ovarian Cancer Research, Jill apparently felt she hadn't adequately embarrassed her daughter enough.
While walking the press line, because, you know she doesn't show up for these things because of the press and all, she "suddenly stopped mid-sentence and shouted in her signature NY accent across the field 'Oh! Wait! Wait! Who is that cute boy? Zarin proceeded to ignore the cameras that were rolling mid-interview and shouted: 'He's cute! Wait! Wait!' As Zarin crossed the red carpet to jump over the velvet ropes she instantly got the attention of a longhaired teenage boy," Glickman gleefully reports.
Oh that crazy Jill. Always doing hilariously crazy, funny things. And yet still is so fabulously fabulous? How does she do it?
Dragging the poor boy across the red carpet like Grendel's vengeful mother, Jill introduced the kid to Ally. We wonder why Jill didn't just go all the way and tell "Zach" (of course that would be his name) that Ally is fresh off the farm from fat reality boot camp.
So yeah. Now Jill thinks she's a matchmaker, fit to give another reality star a run for her world's most shittiest person money. "See I do this! Sorry Patti Stanger," Jill reportedly said. "By "this" she means make an obnoxious spectacle of herself in front of cameras by being rude and turning an event about cancer into an event about Jill Zarin.
Take away lines from our blonde sock puppet:
Zarin proceeded to ignore the cameras that were rolling mid-interview... Really? Are you actually clueless or do you just play one on television? She did this BECAUSE of the cameras, not in spite of them.
Zarin who is a reality pro was immune to the hundreds of bystanders documenting her exchange... A reality pro? What's a reality amateur, someone who doesn't exist? And again, immune? You spelled "spurned on by" wrong, Gina.
The cameras didn't faze either one of them. It was as if they were in the process of shooting a new reality series. Not a bad idea?...Here Glickman probably gets the closest to the truth by accident than she ever will in the history of this awful, suck-up column. And for the record: YES it IS a bad idea. A very bad idea.
Oh, son of Jor-El, can you please banish her once more? It didn't take.
We were wrong. Somehow she escaped, and caught the attention of our favorite Bubble Guppy Gina Glickman-Giordan. (And I get compliments on the hyphen)
You see, when Jill and her daughter Ally, (whom she shipped off to fat camp and documented the whole awful exchange on "Real Housewives of
While walking the press line, because, you know she doesn't show up for these things because of the press and all, she "suddenly stopped mid-sentence and shouted in her signature NY accent across the field 'Oh! Wait! Wait! Who is that cute boy? Zarin proceeded to ignore the cameras that were rolling mid-interview and shouted: 'He's cute! Wait! Wait!' As Zarin crossed the red carpet to jump over the velvet ropes she instantly got the attention of a longhaired teenage boy," Glickman gleefully reports.
Oh that crazy Jill. Always doing hilariously crazy, funny things. And yet still is so fabulously fabulous? How does she do it?
Dragging the poor boy across the red carpet like Grendel's vengeful mother, Jill introduced the kid to Ally. We wonder why Jill didn't just go all the way and tell "Zach" (of course that would be his name) that Ally is fresh off the farm from fat reality boot camp.
So yeah. Now Jill thinks she's a matchmaker, fit to give another reality star a run for her world's most shittiest person money. "See I do this! Sorry Patti Stanger," Jill reportedly said. "By "this" she means make an obnoxious spectacle of herself in front of cameras by being rude and turning an event about cancer into an event about Jill Zarin.
Take away lines from our blonde sock puppet:
Zarin proceeded to ignore the cameras that were rolling mid-interview... Really? Are you actually clueless or do you just play one on television? She did this BECAUSE of the cameras, not in spite of them.
Zarin who is a reality pro was immune to the hundreds of bystanders documenting her exchange... A reality pro? What's a reality amateur, someone who doesn't exist? And again, immune? You spelled "spurned on by" wrong, Gina.
The cameras didn't faze either one of them. It was as if they were in the process of shooting a new reality series. Not a bad idea?...Here Glickman probably gets the closest to the truth by accident than she ever will in the history of this awful, suck-up column. And for the record: YES it IS a bad idea. A very bad idea.
Oh, son of Jor-El, can you please banish her once more? It didn't take.
Friday, August 24, 2012
How Does All Kinds of Awesomeness Reside In One Person?

New York Magazine just printed a summer wrap-up article with Schwenk, who has over 6,000 followers on Twitter, all frothing at the mouth to hear what he encounters on a daily basis. Like my favorite new term "Beachtrepreneur," which perfectly sums up these women who have hitched their star to successful men and now find all sorts of time to whittle away the hours paddleboarding, taking instagram photos of themselves eating produce, and spin-cycling.
The best. Plus he has ginormous balls to risk losing business in a region that still has an old-school privacy about them. He even mentions some staff signing confidentiality agreements when hired. For those reasons, Hamptonyte Blog feels sad around him. Unaccomplished. Quite the posers, really. We can only wish for such access to that world.
So follow him. He's better than us.
But we're funnier. So follow us too! Go.
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Celebrities Attempt to Wrap Brains Around Tragedy: Realize They Have No Brains
The real tragedy is in the asking. When Professional Blonde Muppet Gina Glickman-Giordan (whose metamorphasis into pretentious Hamptonyte is now complete with the hyphenated name) asked a room full of VIPs at the Bridehampton Polo Club what they thought of the Aurora, Colorado "Dark Knight" shootings, our only explanation for the answers she got was that they were all high. Someone left the valve open on the helium machine. Someone brought in some special-baked brownies. Our only explanation for Dan's Papers actually publishing the responses is that the newspaper hates them.
The only "celebrity"but sort of isn't one who came close to a reasoned response was Polo Player Chris Del Gatto, who said "The first thing we think about is our children and that you could be some place as innocuous as a movie theater taking them out for a family evening and something like that happens." If you're looking for clarity after that the closest you can come is Countess LuAnn de Lesseps, who started out on solid footing and then gave us every reason why we should take away her fame. "I think it's terrible and I feel so bad for the families. I have children and everybody has children that they are connected to those people that were there."
Huh? But that was not to be topped by the absolute beauty pageant answer we got from Donna Karan's neer-do-well daughter (whom Glickman felt the need to run down her resume as though she gained all this by herself) Gabby Karan:
"It breaks my heart. I think that we just have to change in our soceity and try to give back a little bit more."
Who knew charity and soup kitchens can stop mass murder?
What this column truly exemplifies is something that sort of strikes at one of the pillars of why we launched Hamptonyte Blog. Just because you're a celebrity, does not mean you should be tapped to give opinions. In fact you probably shouldn't. Because you're a brand. And brands are very touchy not to say anything that even smells of controversy. Okay, that's too long of a pillar, but the lesson stands all the same.
The only "celebrity"
Huh? But that was not to be topped by the absolute beauty pageant answer we got from Donna Karan's neer-do-well daughter (whom Glickman felt the need to run down her resume as though she gained all this by herself) Gabby Karan:
"It breaks my heart. I think that we just have to change in our soceity and try to give back a little bit more."
Who knew charity and soup kitchens can stop mass murder?
What this column truly exemplifies is something that sort of strikes at one of the pillars of why we launched Hamptonyte Blog. Just because you're a celebrity, does not mean you should be tapped to give opinions. In fact you probably shouldn't. Because you're a brand. And brands are very touchy not to say anything that even smells of controversy. Okay, that's too long of a pillar, but the lesson stands all the same.
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Inside the Social Life Magazine Kerfuffle

After some follow-up conversations with Christopher London, Hamptonyte blog got a pretty broad picture about the nature of his issue with Social Life Magazine Editor-In-Chief Devorah Rose, who recently landed back on the pages of the NY Post after airing her dirty
When the story broke, London issued a formal letter that essentially posed an ultimatum to the magazine's publisher Justin Mitchell: either Devorah goes, or I can no longer contribute to the magazine as its Society Editor. The magazine, along with the people it covers, are in hibernation until Memorial Day, so no word yet from Mitchell how he plans to deal with the friction between the two editors. In an e-mail to Hamptonyte blog, Rose declined to say anything on the record about London's letter. (Incidentally, if Rose was in journalism she'd know that "off the record" is not something you can just say, like Hocus Pocus, or Olly-Olly Oxenfree. Both parties are supposed to agree to it, but we decided to be nice).
Usually when an Editor-in-Chief (see: head honcho) is threatened with resignation from a section editor (see: NOT head honcho), the section editor gets escorted out of the building by security. We found it curious that London's letter didn't lead to an automatic shakeup at the magazine. Then we got some more information about the gist of Social Life's operations.
According to London, Rose is really just an EIC in name only. Like, really just name only, as in: doesn't have much jurisdiction or veto power over editorial content. In a sense, London boiled her responsibilities down to a marketing/PR role, whereby she wines and dines and 69s the subjects the magazine covers and then lets the writers step in. She makes decisions about the cover, and contributes her column "Royal Court," which sounds so completely obnoxious, (without having actually laid eyes on the column) we are currently on e-Bay seeking to purchase a guillotine.
For the most part, all editorial content flows to Mitchell, and everyone who works on the magazine does so as contributors. This includes London, which explains why he's not sitting on the curb at the magazine's NYC office with a box full of his personal items and a sign around his neck. London is one of the older contributors; according to him the magazine has a young staff. We're imagining something along the lines of a journalistic sweatshop. Young, disadvantaged, naive little hopefuls, working for gold stars and what's left in the bottom of a Devorah-ransacked charity-event swag bag.
London said when he was first approached by Mitchell it was a collaborative effort to pool resources and tap into London's knowledge of NYC high society, a knowledge he'd apparently gained while photographing society events for his own website. According to London, Mitchell seemed hungry to get a look into the world of NYC society, and worked overtime to develop his own contacts. Somewhere along the line, and if the NYT article is accurate that "somewhere" was an event at the MoMA, he met Devorah Rose and he had his EIC.
Most journalists will often tell you that when they get invited to attend an event, charity or otherwise, they usually hang back and observe. But according to London, Rose took no such approach to Social Life's coverage, much to the chagrin of some of the charitable organizations that invited Social Life along. London wrote to us:
"Once I started writing for the magazine, certain invitations that came to my attention were swiped by Devorah and they began to ingratiate themselves with people who knew me, including insisting on a table at their gala if they want SL Mag to cover the event. I had certain publicists ask me why they wanted a whole table. Did they not know that this was not proper protocol?"
It gets better:
"Any swag which came to the magazine was often seized by her for use with her friends. Hence most of what Devorah shows up at are nightclub events and commercial charitable vehicles for Reality TV."
Which brought London to his ultimate point: Rose is merely using her position to leverage any opportunity to become a reality TV star, even stooping, according to London, to placing key players in reality television on the cover of Social Life. In essence, the magazine gives her access, and she uses that access to further her less-than journalistic aims. Tsk, tsk, Devorah.
Over the phone, London told Hamptonyte blog that the Rushdie incident was the straw that broke the camel's back because it came off as so inauthentic. In a follow-up e-mail, he added these remarks:
"It is even more clear that Salman Rushdie was a 'mark', a man who was clearly being used to extend DR's Famegame. The fact that she tweeted the pic herself with rather suggestive language for a "do over" with the famous author and then complained he was only after one thing, is interesting...There was a quick effort to cash in on the notoriety of having had any contact with him...Wouldn't she try to persuade him of her sincere interest first before giving him up to the tabloid media? Rushdie served his purpose, the famous ladies man got her two front page appearances in the NY Post, in one week."
Let's put it this way. If London doesn't leave the magazine, and Rose stays put as EIC...this is going to make one hell of an awkward office Christmas party.
Monday, December 5, 2011
Breaking: Social Life Magazine editor threatens to quit

Social Life Magazine's standing Society Editor Chris London drafted an official letter threatening to leave the magazine if Devorah Rose continues on as Editor-In-Chief.
The issue is over Rose's recent public outing of author Salman Rushdie's ill-fated decision to speak to Rose on a personal basis. The two have been involved in a mini-Page 6 battle in the NY Post, spurned on by Rushdie's attempt to deny anything more than a platonic relationship with the EIC of Social Life. After more than 20 years, Rose was able to do what the Ayatollah couldn't: deliver Rushdie's head on the platter of public humiliation, by essentially copy/pasting all of his personal messages to her via e-mail and Facebook.
In the letter, London described Rose as "socially parasitic" and took issue with her description of the Rushdie relationship as "abusive."
"PLEASE NOTE that if Devorah remains on Social Life Magazine's masthead as Editor in Chief in the Summer of 2012, this Society Editor will no longer contribute in any capacity to said publication. The publisher has a decision to make."
London also posted a scathing column as a contributor to Cape Cod Today. We'll keep following this and let you know how it all washes.
The issue is over Rose's recent public outing of author Salman Rushdie's ill-fated decision to speak to Rose on a personal basis. The two have been involved in a mini-Page 6 battle in the NY Post, spurned on by Rushdie's attempt to deny anything more than a platonic relationship with the EIC of Social Life. After more than 20 years, Rose was able to do what the Ayatollah couldn't: deliver Rushdie's head on the platter of public humiliation, by essentially copy/pasting all of his personal messages to her via e-mail and Facebook.
In the letter, London described Rose as "socially parasitic" and took issue with her description of the Rushdie relationship as "abusive."
"PLEASE NOTE that if Devorah remains on Social Life Magazine's masthead as Editor in Chief in the Summer of 2012, this Society Editor will no longer contribute in any capacity to said publication. The publisher has a decision to make."
London also posted a scathing column as a contributor to Cape Cod Today. We'll keep following this and let you know how it all washes.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
When good trend stories lead to arrests

I distinctly remember one of the worst days of my teenage life, when a Newsday article ran about my local deli selling alcohol without proofing the buyers. That deli was the lone source of my increasing demand of 40oz. St. Ides, an oasis in the desert of suck called the working class suburbs. The article ran, and the next day, Haziz was asking for my ID. Goddammit journalists! I remember screaming as I walked out with nothing better than a can of Jolt and some Pixie Stix so I could at least get a sugar high.
That was then. When newspapers articles at worst caused the wrongdoer to straighten up and fly right. Now, they can get you tossed in the clink.
So 27East ran a trend piece entitled "Prom Season Brings Wave of Illegal Party Rentals," an expose on the unsupervised droves of teenagers whosedesperate to still be considered cool parents allow to rent houses in the Hamptons for post-prom hi jinks.
Guest of a Guest mocked the piece. It was so old fashioned, so square...stupid adults with their stupid curiosity making a silly issue for no stupid reason, the stupid-heads. Besides, the rentals are totes nothing more than answering to supply and demand. Whatta you got against profit, 27East, what are you communists or something?
It was all "laughable" and so mock-worthy. Until the cops showed up. Since the piece ran, four arrests have been made in the Hamptons for violation of the social host law. The first in Eastport, and the second in Remsenberg. In the case of the latter, cops investigated after a kid had to be rushed to the hospital when he started puking up blood.Guest of a Guest could not be immediately reached for comment regarding whether they believe puking up blood to be a bad thing.
That was then. When newspapers articles at worst caused the wrongdoer to straighten up and fly right. Now, they can get you tossed in the clink.
So 27East ran a trend piece entitled "Prom Season Brings Wave of Illegal Party Rentals," an expose on the unsupervised droves of teenagers whose
Guest of a Guest mocked the piece. It was so old fashioned, so square...stupid adults with their stupid curiosity making a silly issue for no stupid reason, the stupid-heads. Besides, the rentals are totes nothing more than answering to supply and demand. Whatta you got against profit, 27East, what are you communists or something?
It was all "laughable" and so mock-worthy. Until the cops showed up. Since the piece ran, four arrests have been made in the Hamptons for violation of the social host law. The first in Eastport, and the second in Remsenberg. In the case of the latter, cops investigated after a kid had to be rushed to the hospital when he started puking up blood.
What have we learned? Despite the doomed fate of print journalism, you should read the newspaper. Or you may find yourself chained to a metal bar right next to a rapist.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
NYTimes profiles most transparent fameball in history

You owe it to yourself to welcome Devorah Rose into your life. If you don't know who she is, well...that upsets her greatly. No outfit to date has put together quite the chronology that Gawker has, about this particularly persistent fameball, but to the uninitiated non-Gawker-reading public, The New York Times has kindly profiled her in the June 8 Sound & Fury Fashion & Style section.
Her trajectory that led her to this nearly 2,000-word profile is torn straight out of the "shotgun blast" approach to fame and success: do everything (writer, actress, model, editor, novelist, reality TV star, casting call hound), be everywhere (Upper East Side, openings at the MoMA, Hamptons in summertime), and sooner or later people will notice you. Despite her multiple forays into every form of camera-chasing possible, alas, she's mostly known as the Editor of Social Life magazine, a glossy Hamptons mag that, similar to Loch Ness, I've only heard about...never actually seen. (And I live out here. Very weird.) Aside from that, she enjoyed a brief splash of small-screen notoriety as the girl who ran out on her spindly legs and tossed her drink at another girl at one of her stupid, self-congratulating pool parties on the one-and-done show High Society.
The profile attempts at objectivity and even a little snark. It calls her out for lying about her 100% involvement in all her cover shoots (apparently Beth Ostrovsky Stern supplied Devorah with this month's cover photo forher silly magazine Social Life)
But all the snark in the world can not rescue the Times from the simple fact that the publication of record, The Gray Lady itself, actually went and profiledthe worst person alive this phony, fame-starved asswipe.
Nothing about her is impressive, or entrepreneurial, or even interesting. She's the girl we all knew in high school who did two things: 1. found out where the popular kids hung out. 2. her hair. Now she rubs elbows with the beautiful people and pretends that all the hatred and bad karma that continuously befalls her is merely testament to her importance. It's the grossest case of incestuous legitimacy since Julia Allison. From having enough money to attend fiction writing classes in the extremely-difficult-to-get-into Columbia University MFA program, to meeting her publisher at a museum andblowing him promising him to edit his magazine if he launches one, she's nothing short of every other attractive woman who manages to convince guys to give them what they want. If she were reading this blog post (and she's not) she would stop right here to glory in the fact that I called her "attractive." She's Anna Nicole Smith without the stripper pole. Nothing more.
Her trajectory that led her to this nearly 2,000-word profile is torn straight out of the "shotgun blast" approach to fame and success: do everything (writer, actress, model, editor, novelist, reality TV star, casting call hound), be everywhere (Upper East Side, openings at the MoMA, Hamptons in summertime), and sooner or later people will notice you. Despite her multiple forays into every form of camera-chasing possible, alas, she's mostly known as the Editor of Social Life magazine, a glossy Hamptons mag that, similar to Loch Ness, I've only heard about...never actually seen. (And I live out here. Very weird.) Aside from that, she enjoyed a brief splash of small-screen notoriety as the girl who ran out on her spindly legs and tossed her drink at another girl at one of her stupid, self-congratulating pool parties on the one-and-done show High Society.
The profile attempts at objectivity and even a little snark. It calls her out for lying about her 100% involvement in all her cover shoots (apparently Beth Ostrovsky Stern supplied Devorah with this month's cover photo for
But all the snark in the world can not rescue the Times from the simple fact that the publication of record, The Gray Lady itself, actually went and profiled
Nothing about her is impressive, or entrepreneurial, or even interesting. She's the girl we all knew in high school who did two things: 1. found out where the popular kids hung out. 2. her hair. Now she rubs elbows with the beautiful people and pretends that all the hatred and bad karma that continuously befalls her is merely testament to her importance. It's the grossest case of incestuous legitimacy since Julia Allison. From having enough money to attend fiction writing classes in the extremely-difficult-to-get-into Columbia University MFA program, to meeting her publisher at a museum and
One of the more poignantly obnoxious moments in the NYT piece? When the reporter asks about her family background, she pulls a celebrity diva act and waves the question off with a hand, stating "I think we can move on." Why the reporter didn't get up and say "I think I'll move on too, to someone who's actually done something and wants to share their story" is beyond me.
So thanks, New York Times. Appreciate the legitimacy you just gave a girl who admittedly was "more interested in Social Life's parties than its content," launched by a guy who started the magazine because he also liked going to parties.
Read the profile yourself. Then wonder if the world didn't really end on May 21, 2011 after all.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Study Hamptons Culture: Get Paid...Nothing

Sorry. That's the way internships go. But if you haven't heard back from a real job yet, or you already got turned down for that job as a public restroom attendant, or a sewage worker, or the guy holding a sign, waving to motorists, or the "geek" in "Shoot the Geek," or a waiter at Chucky Cheeses, there's one more option.
Hamptons.com is looking for interns. They put out a press release, and with a straight face tried to lure you in with the golden opportunity to learn journalism this summer .
Kids...you're going to learn many things at that internship. You'll learn the difference between a cosmo and a martini. You'll learn how to cozy up to celebrities. You'll learn how to re-can press releases. How to get invited to all the right parties and how to dangle your camera in front of you when you get there. How to use over-the-top hyperbolic language when describing a person, a party, or a dish. (fabulous, fantastic, fantastimonious, superberrendous!) You'll learn how to decipher between important people and not-important people. You'll learn how to ignore the not-important people. But you'll never. Ever. Ever. Learn journalism.
But hey, it's something to do, and maybe you'll meet Pauly Shore.
Friday, January 21, 2011
New Web-Feature To Prove The Hamptons Is Year-Round, Proves It Isn't

Have you heard the latest development over at Hamptons.com? They have a new Web-feature now: a short video wrap-up show called The Scoop, featuring the Web site's extremely charismatic and photogenic Executive Editor Nicole Brewer.
In this first installment, Nicole insists that there's plenty to do in the Hamptons year-round, and then proceeds to prove otherwise. A 70's band? Playing live? Somewhere in the Hamptons? No way!
And she even cracks a joke. I'm not going to spoil the punchline; you'll just have to watch. Anyway, check out The Scoop regularly for updates that are not exactly about nothing...it's more like next to nothing. In other words, it's a notch above the on-location news segments Kermit The Frog used to do.
"This is Kermit A. Frog, live at the farm, where a cow has jumped over the moon, and allegedly the dish has run away with the spoon..."
Yeah, sort of like that. Only not as informative. Sigh.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Breaking News: Hamptonyte Blog Forgets To Know What The Hell It's Talking About!
So...corrections are boring. In lieu of a correction, we'd like to explain what transpired and call ourselves out for toolbaggery. Yesterday we goofed on a local Internet publication called NabeWise, for placing an ad on Craigslist where they seemingly solicited for unpaid content to weed out prospective interns. We threw up a screen shot of a scene from Amistad and haughtily mocked NabeWise for operating under the use of free labor. It was fun. We laughed. We shook our heads. We rolled our snarky eyes.
Then we got this comment from an anonymous source:
"Interns are paid at NabeWise!"
Thank you for calling my attention to this issue.
I changed the ad, so that people can email us their reviews if they prefer. We really do select our team based on how they capture neighborhoods through writing.
This also allows us to screen for people who are serious, over people who just spam their resumes out to every job. We've worked hard to build a program at NabeWise where people learn a lot -and interns are more likely to have me fetch them coffee, than the reverse. :-)
Hopefully this change alleviates your concern."
So this is what a douchebag feels like. Doh! In related news...do you think I should apply for a job at NabeWise?
Then we got this comment from an anonymous source:
"Interns are paid at NabeWise!"
Doh! So maybe an e-mail or a phone call to NabeWise would have been in order before we called them out for slave-driving? Maybe? But what's an anonymous commenter anyway, right? What do they know?
Then we got this comment:
"Hi, I'm the CEO of NabeWise,Thank you for calling my attention to this issue.
I changed the ad, so that people can email us their reviews if they prefer. We really do select our team based on how they capture neighborhoods through writing.
This also allows us to screen for people who are serious, over people who just spam their resumes out to every job. We've worked hard to build a program at NabeWise where people learn a lot -and interns are more likely to have me fetch them coffee, than the reverse. :-)
Hopefully this change alleviates your concern."
So this is what a douchebag feels like. Doh! In related news...do you think I should apply for a job at NabeWise?
Friday, January 14, 2011
The Weakonomy: Write For Free--THEN Prove Your Worth

Here's a great business model for upstart publications. Launch them Internet-only and then lure aspiring writers to fill the content under the illusion that perhaps one day they'll get paid. We've been seeing more and more of these "internship" opportunities popping up on Craigslist and other job sites.
Kids...if you want to intern at a publication, try the New York Times, or The New Yorker, or Bloomberg News. Every other publisher...stop trying to get free labor out of people by pretending you have so much priceless wisdom to impart. Pay up!
Our latest culprit: Nabe Wise, at nabewise.com. They want you to submit THREE pieces to their new Hamptons Web site venture BEFORE they even agree to take you on as an unpaid intern! Now that's taking it to the next level. We've got their slogan: Nabe Wise. Thinking outside the predatory entrepreneur box.
On the other hand, if you're Charlie Brown, convinced that Lucy will eventually not pull the football away before you kick it, here's the ad on Craigslist. Now go get me my coffee!
****UPDATE****
We're dicks. Read the January 15 blog post regarding this item.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Rule #121: Hamptons.com Must Tell Us What "Inno-Trendy" Means

Does Hamptons.com actually have writers on staff? Or is it just a few trained monkeys uploading press releases to their Web site? Are they all in hibernation until the next post-Memorial Day white-party? If so, why doesn't the site just shut down for the winter?
Item: this canned release from the good people at o.d.m. watches. You know, the "internationally acclaimed timepiece arbitrators?" We don't even know what the last half of that sentence means. Nor do we know what "inno-trendy" means in the second sentence of this press release. Maybe if a Hamptons.com staffer was around to actually re-purpose the release and maybe call somebody at o.d.m. to clarify, we'd know. Naw...too much work.
Anyway, the exciting news is supposed to be that these watches (which look like the eggs from which Yo Gabba Gabba characters hatched) is now available in the U.S. Phew...we've been waiting for this day to arrive.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Dan's Papers Guide to Payola

In the news gathering business, you might hear the term "separation of church and state" bandied about. Basically it's an editorial policy that prevents the advertising sales team from influencing editorial decisions up to and including which stories to run. So, for example, your newspaper is about to run a scathing story on the shady business practices of Acme Inc. But your top ad salesperson knocks on your office door and says, "listen, Acme Inc. spends $1 million dollars a year in advertising with us. If you run this story, we're gonna lose that revenue for good."
The answer is supposed to be: too bad. In fact, the separation of church and state is so important to most newspapers that if the above scenario ever did play out, that ad salesperson could very well be fired just for approaching the editor or reporter.
It also works in reverse. Newspapers aren't ethically supposed to hang editorial coverage as a carrot above the head of businesses as a way to entice them to advertise. Even the appearance of payola will often cause editors who might assign a story on, let's say, termite prevention, to run down the list of exterminators advertising with their paper and then pick a source for the story NOT on the list. Definitely NOT on the list. It's also the reason no reporter worth his/her salt would ever walk over to the advertising department for a source contact on a given subject. Even if there isn't any sort of agreement between a business and a local newspaper, the use of a business as a source when that same business advertises with the paper would give too much of the appearance of impropriety for any newspaper to take the risk.
Well...any newspaper except for Dan's Papers, apparently. In the September 24 issue of that paper Dan's ne'er-do-well son David Lion wrote a story on kitchen renovations for their House & Home Guide. The piece is nothing short of an advertorial for Smith River Kitchens in East Hampton. It's even in the headline! Getting Your Kitchen On with Smith River Kitchens. It ran on page 34.
Wethinks that odd. Very odd. Untils we turn to page 37. A full-page advertisement for Smith River Kitchens! Separation of Church and State, David. Learn it. Love it. Live it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)