Occupy the Hamptons Doesn't Occupy Common Sense

That grim looking fella to the left of this photo is right. We are the 99%. Especially us here at Hamptonyte Blog. We have all the requisite 99% problems: unemployment, disenfranchisement, disgust with corruption, irritation at the continued illusion we call the American Dream. Hell, we practically started this blog along similar sentiments.

We can't be so cynical as to criticize a small group of protesters holding up signs in a community that is veritably empty during the winter months, and sure to have them lined against a wall and executed arrested during the summer. Despite the usual Hamptons media eye-rolling these protests often create, we're pretty much on their side. We sort of admire the fact that reminders of the greed and corruption that plague our Republic will not be escaped when these creeps from Wall St. head out here on Memorial Day. For that we thank this small band of flies buzzing into the luxury ointment.

But we can't get on board their recent decision to occupy HarborFrost. It just doesn't make any sense. Simply pulling into the 7-11 parking lot, where a lot of the HarborFrost attendees parked, it was visibly evident by the lack of BMWs, Mercedes, and Audis, that many of us jumping into the frigid water were in the 99% and are most likely attending to take our minds off the struggle we endure daily.

I recognize there will always be some degree of shouting at the choir, but the last thing anybody wants to see at a festival, is a group of sober-faced grouches standing there with signs, reminding us how fucked we are change needs to take place in our capitalist system.

The occupy movement needs just a tad bit of PR in this spot. They already have policed themselves when it comes to individual members' behavior. Here's another instance where they should do so. Nothing makes the average person, liberal or otherwise, more turned off to a movement than when the movement doesn't know where or when to land its blows. The perception many walked away with during HarborFrost is that a bunch of sign-wielding, friendless shut-ins, with nothing better to do on a Saturday, attempted to hijack a fun event by drawing attention to themselves. The operative word "themselves." Not the movement. Or the message. Such is the importance of PR in this circumstance. The protest had absolutely no relevance to the festival, except for the fact that hundreds would be gathered in one spot. From a PR perspective, this screams the protestors want attention, more than they want to inform the public of an injustice. Now, if the festival was paid for and sponsored by Goldman Sachs or Lehman Bros., and the soup being served was made from the ground up bones of unemployed Americans who went into default on their mortgages, that would be a different story.

I'm often reminded of a great line in Oliver Stone's Jim Morrison biopic The Doors. The entire movie script is pretty much Jim Morrison wandering around being profound and prophetic, and waxing philosophical over every little thing. But there is one instance...one little line, when Morrison has just recorded one of his uber-intellectual, drippy, philosophical poems. He stands up from his session and says: "C'mon let's get some tacos."

Note to Occupy the Hamptons: Sometimes even Jim Morrison knew when to give it a rest!

Election FAIL: Altschuler Endorses Bishop

And runs against him. This accidentally hilarious account of the Bishop/Altschuler smackdown ran in the East Hampton Star last week.

After blowing off the Daughters of the American Revolution, or Mothers Without Jobs, or whatever that organization was that Altschuler stood up like prom night, he and incumbent Congressman Tim Bishop finally had their debate. The venue was the Southampton Community Center in Hampton Bays. Bishop had home-field advantage. Big Time. And Altschuler's attempt to condescendingly frame Bishops platform blew up in his face. Big Time.

"If you want to continue the policies of the Obama and Pelosi administration -- if you want Obamacare, cap and trade, car check and further bailouts then you should vote for Tim Bishop." The loud applause and cheers of many in the room indicated that they planned to do that.

There's a reason why, when Rudy Giuliani ran for mayor, he didn't shout:

"If you want porno shops at every corner, strippers giving lapdances in every other establishment, beers in public streets, and the ability to smoke week in a consequence-free environment, then vote for David Dinkins!"

Former Provost Of College Has Trouble With Academic Citation

Or...Congressman Tim Bishop is a snake like every other politician trying to run for re-election.


As an alumnus of Southampton College, the degree hanging on my wall is beginning to have less and less meaning with each passing day of this political season. Have you seen this? It's a political ad approved by Tim Bishop in which he accuses his Republican opponent, Randy Altschuler of outsourcing American jobs to other countries around the world.


The ad comes replete with grainy video footage of Altschuler speaking to what appears to be local businessmen about his company (Office Tiger) and its ability to save them money by shipping back-office support positions to other regions of the world, such as India, and the Philippines.


Then he pulls out a quote Altschuler gave the Financial News in 2003. "In India you get a much higher standard of person doing...work than in America," the full-screen reads. What a scumbag, right? Saying Indian workers are better than us? And now he wants us to vote for him!?


Only. The ellipsis troubled me. You know, the "dot, dot, dot" after the word "doing?" That couldn't have been a pause on Altschuler's part. And if it was, what journalist would have inserted the pause? Something was fishy. So I did about five seconds of research through my local library and I found the article in question, from the March 23, 2003 edition of Financial News.

Here's what Altschuler said in the article. "In India you get a much higher standard of person doing assistant work."
That was it. The Bishop ad cuts the qualifying term "assistant" and then adds what their Cap N' Crunch invisible ink detector apparently picked up on the page hiding "than in America."
Or, more likely, Altschuler never said "than in America." And he was talking about assistant work, not ALL work. This also followed that quote from Financial News:

"Altschuler says banking staff in Western financial centres need not be concerned about losing their jobs. Instead they should be pleased that the roles remaining in the West will be of higher calibre. He says: "People in New York and London will be working in higher-end areas. There will be more need for people with higher education-employees are going to have to get smart."

I know Tim Bishop was the provost of a failed college and all, but come on. Tim. A quotation is word-for-word. That's why it's in quotes. And next time you're going to lie to us about something your opponent didn't say: do yourself a huge favor and don't bother providing the citation.

In other news...Randy Altschuler is a huge outsourcing douche. Don't vote for him.

Relief On The Way For Golddiggers

Here's a stock tip. Invest in Swiss banks. They're about to get a ton of phone calls, thanks to a measure sponsored by Sag Harbor's Albany representative Fred Thiele that will turn New York into a "no-fault" divorce state. (See: the bitch gets half?)

It used to be (and for the moment still is) that if a couple got divorced, they had to duke it out in court and find out which one was at fault for the breakup. Understanding that marriages fail for multiple nuanced reasons and more often than not, both parties contributed to the breakdown, there are still factors that New York State considers when awarding divorces and divorce settlements, such as adultery, or abandonment. This bill would negate those factors and split everything down the middle.

Thiele says he wants the measure passed because it complicates couples who have agreed to an amicable divorce. Hey Fred. There's no such thing! Even divorces that settle out of court are negotiations that neither party is all that satisfied with because they'd rather their spouse died in a fiery car crash.

Just look at Christie Brinkley and Peter Cook. That poor bastard tried to have his day in court after Brinkley went on a multiple-day-testimony bus throwing tirade, crying and pointing out all of Mr. Cook's little perversions. But suddenly when it became his turn to talk, a miraculous out-of-court settlement popped up demanding Cook's silence from here on forward. Funny how that worked. This bill would rob us of that bit of made-for-TV-drama. And it will let cheatin' hearts off the hook and well supplied in their ex's money.

You can practically hear the stampede of high heels running to the nearest voting booth. So, yeah. IPO. Drop a dime into every off-shore bank you can research.

Trailer Residents, Too Rapey For Westhampton

In your textbook case of NIMBYism, the Town of Southampton has successfully managed to at least temporarily slap an injunction on Suffolk County, preventing them from upgrading DSS trailers that house homeless sex offenders.

Everyone is relieved. Well...except the sex offenders. Some of whom you can find by entering Westhampton's zip code (11977) in the NYS Sex Offender Registry.

Read this article for the legal maneuvering it took to get this thing done; it would impress the Nixon Administration. They managed to prevent showers from being upgraded in the trailers, which made the trailers essentially unlivable (everybody knows sex offenders HATE being dirty), and therefore in violation of other town and county occupancy codes. Done. Go somewhere else, rapey homeless pervs!

Like Mastic! While Hamptonyte Blog certainly can't expect residents to be over the moon about registered creepers setting up shop in town (even if it is in the middle of the friggin woods on Old Country Road) I have to take personal umbrage with this quote from Suffolk County Legislator Jay Schneiderman:

“The community is not going to tolerate this any longer,” Mr. Schneiderman said. “This is not a policy—this is dumping on a community.”

And this gem:

“The burden needs to be shared,” said Westhampton Beach Village Board member Toni-Jo Birk.

Excuse me? That's dumping on a community? Two trailers plopped in the middle of the woods? And that's not sharing the burden, Madame Birk? Have you looked over the fence at William Floyd Parkway in Mastic, Mastic Beach, and Shirley? Here are the numbers for Level 2 and 3 sex offenders:

Mastic Beach: 18
Mastic: 13
Shirley: 8

Westhampton: 1
Westhampton Beach: 3
Hampton Bays: 8
Quogue: 0
Eastport: 0
Southampton: 2

In other words, adding Westhampton, Westhampton Beach, Hampton Bays, Quogue, Eastport, and Southampton's number of sex offenders draws them into a tie with Mastic. Three communities outnumber 6 communities by a tally of 39 to 13! I wonder where these offenders are going to end up when the county gets rid of its trailer program and switches to a $90-per-day voucher program? Hmmmm.

Run that horseshit by us again, Ms. Birk?

Anatomy of a Dissenting Vote

Tonight, there will be a public hearing on the budget for Southampton School District, a budget that proposes a 1.9 million dollar (or 3.45%) increase over last year's budget. When the proposed budget was sent to a Board of Education vote on April 20, all members of the board approved except one: Dr. Laura McMahon.

The Hamptonyte Blog reached out to Dr. McMahon to clarify her dissent. Here's the gist of what she said (in italics).

"My intention is not to tell people to vote no for the budget, but rather to pay attention, ask the right questions and cast a vote that is reflective of an informed decision. I do believe the operating budget could be 0% and not adversely effect our students or staff. In my opinion, if people are not outraged, then they are not paying attention."

Now most LI school districts, in this blogger's experience, operate at or over budget year in and year out. But apparently this is not the case at Southampton, where for at least the last three years running, the school has posted budget surpluses at the end of the fiscal year. By law, the district is allowed to keep 4% of the overall budget in reserves. Dr. McMahon explains what happened at workshops while sitting down to discuss this upcoming budget.

"When the meeting began we were asked what would we be comfortable with 2% or 3%? I then asked, why not a 0% operating budget? I then asked, as of June 30, 2010 how much money did our district spend? The answer...there is about $3million dollars left. I then said...in this climate, with the current economy, why not, just for one year, put a little less money in our reserves and make some further cuts? I did not get a straight clear cut answer."

What "further cuts" would she make?

"If you look at the history here, we consistently over-budget. We are also over-staffed. Look at the size of our district, and the amount of staff, and compare it to another district the same size. There is also a history here in Southampton of retaining ineffective staff, then adding more staff to compensate for that."

But there was a reduction in staff.

"A few personnel positions were cut after that first meeting I attended. The bottom line is, they needed to be cut anyway, regardless of the budget, so I feel that is misleading to the public. I believe we could still cut more staff and not adversely effect our kids or our current staff. I also voiced publically, that we have too many committees and often times the committees are loaded. For example, the BAC (Budget Advisory Committee, ed. note) is mainly comprised of people who either work for the district or have a spouse that is employed by the district. That representation was about 70% of the committee. That is not a true representation of the public."

Dr. McMahon also took exception to the way the budget numbers were brought to them in the first place.

"In my opinion, I would rather the Super come to the BOE with a few different proposals. For example this is what 0%, 1%, 2%, 3% budget would look like and show me the impact of such. That was not done."

And of course, similar to the reader comments often seen beneath stories about any school budget, teacher and administrator salaries occupy a large portion of the budget and are perceived as excessive.

"The public needs to be aware of contracts, they are negotiable, and that is the area where thousands and thousands of dollars can be saved. Salaries make up about 70% of our school budget. Contracts that have been ratified by the BOE are public information and can be viewed by the public by filling out a FOIL request with the district clerk. Anyway, people need to be aware of the public monies spent on healthcare, cash out of sick days upon retirement, stipends, etc. and how that directly impacts the taxpayer as well as our children."

Wouldn't cutting staff and renegotiating contracts necessarily impact extracurricular opportunities for students?

"We don't need to cut sports, music, or programs for the kids. We do need to have strong leadership. We have the ability to be forward, progressive thinkers, and to make Southampton a place that provides an excellent education for all, while at the same time being fiscally responsible to our taxpayers. In order for that to happen, first...people have to believe it is possible, I do believe that. If you look at the amount of money we spend per pupil, the amount of staff we have, the amount of students we have...our students should be doing phenomenally. They are not. Look at our graduation rate, compared to other schools on LI(not NY state), (It's lower) look at test scores (they're lower) ( I don't personally look at those because I do not think they are reflective of what students know or how they learn) but many people look at them, look at the grad rate for our minority students compared to other districts on LI. (It's lower) Something is really out of whack here. In my opinion, we have some awesome teachers and administrators, but we also have some ineffective staff and administrators. Just speak with community members, they know."

Dr. McMahon went on further to discuss the salary structure for teachers, and the powerful teacher's union that prevents, among other things, an evaluation of how teachers and administrators are performing.

She didn't say as much, but it seems her dissent is a symbolic one, in that she's not seeking to defeat the budget, but would like taxpayers and policymakers alike to turn a more critical eye to the budget process. Even with the fairly intricate list of issues, she probably has most readers at hello. The 3-million dollar surplus to be expected after this fiscal year ends in June. If the district is operating at a continual surplus, why raise the tax levy at all, even if it is only $1.66 per month for a house that's worth $1-million.

If there's something not being taken into account, feel free to e-mail the Hamptonyte Blog at news5525@gmail.com. And don't forget to show up at tonight's public hearing at 7:30 p.m. in the New Music Addition at Southampton Intermediate School.

According to the school's site, "the budget hearing will feature informative slides, but more importantly, an opportunity for questions and answers to and from school board members and school administrators. Babysitting will be provided."