Hamptons deer population, sick of everybody's shit too

 We've got helicopter noise ruining everyone's life. We've got Twitter accounts documenting rich people's problems (which aren't really problems at all). We've got blogs dedicated to calling out douchebags for their douchebaggery; we've got the term "citiots." And now...the deer are getting pissed off too.

And they're droppin' many suckas, one by one. According to this East Hampton Star report, the deer out there have turned kamikaze, diving out in front of cars left and right and disabling a 2008 Porshe driven by a person who uses an acronym for a first name.

Rule #376: If you use an acronym for your first name, or if you hyphenate your last name and you drive a Porche and it gets crushed by a deer...good!

A Dodge also got jacked up. One of five other car vs. deer incidents, according to the article. The story led off with a related police report about someone it was totally a deer who abandoned a Jeep SUV on the side of the road near Stephen Hands Path. When police arrived at the scene the Jeep had been used as a battering ram for utility poles and trees. They heard a rustling noise in the woods, as though the driver of the vehicle was escaping. No human suspect has been apprehended.

Lesson to take away: Deers are totally rippin' shit up out there!

Cops Care About Drug Use(of the bridge and tunnel variety)

This story came over the feed from 27east.com. Apparently over Memorial Day Weekend, Southampton Police staged a silent raid on drug dealers and users alike. At the Axe Lounge of Dune? At the new Day&Night brunch ridiculousness in East Hampton? No.

At Neptunes. 'Toons' as it's referred to by those in the know. And by "know" we mean those who know almost nothing. Which presents a natural rift in the Hamptonyte Blog space/time continuum. Do we mock the mouth-breathing fist-pumping toolbags that haunt this outdoor silicon convention, laugh at the image of tribal tats all being stuffed into a paddy wagon? Or do we reach into that other part of our psyche that sees how much this prejudicial Latino-round-up sucks the big one?

Drugs are everywhere in the Hamptons, particularly in the summer months. In fact, there was recently an article on the growing use of heroine among east end teenagers. So with all these communities stuffing all this junk up their noses and into their veins, forgive us if we're a little suspicious of a "drug raid" that garners the arrest of middle to lower-middle class youngsters from just about everywhere except the Hamptons. Really Southampton cops? Really? Of all the gin joints in all the world, you pick Neptunes to suddenly wage the war on drugs?

In the same breath...all those morons at Neptunes that got arrested? Consider it a douchebag tax.

Police Force Thinning Out; Poors Rejoice!

According to a very journalismy, investigation-ish article from 27east, the Westhampton Beach Village Police Department is operating on a very thin roster these days.

"As many as four of the department’s 16 full-time officers, or 25 percent, have taken a substantial amount of time off for medical reasons in the last six weeks or so, prompting Police Chief Ray Dean to rely more heavily on part-time officers and to make do with fewer cops staffing each regular shift."

So 12 full-time officers translates to only 4 officers per square mile of the village! Gulp. Expect crime statistics to go WAY up!
Celebrate, residents of Mastic, Mastic Beach, Shirley, who trek into the Hamptons to work. You might not get pulled over today!