Rule #122: Don't Let The Mrs. Put The 'Cock' In Cocktail

If you're serving cocktails...any kind of cocktails...at your Super Bowl party: you're doing it wrong. Wrong!

Hamptons.com posted a list of cocktail recipes (as is their wont) that hosts and hostesses can serve at their Super Bowl party this year. This is what happens when you let girls watch football. Excuse us, but Super Bowl parties are for beer and beer only. They're for complaining about how your team didn't make it, and for openly fantasizing about this year's GoDaddy.com girl, safely out of earshot of your wife. Cocktails? Do you know what cocktails at a football party means? It means your football party has gone the way of the cigar-room, the men's clubhouse, and the old-fashioned saloon. It means you have officially allowed yourself to become culturally neutered. It's bad enough your DVR is filled with episodes of "Trading Spaces" and "House Hunters."

Listen, ladies, we're not dragging a keg into your scrap-booking party, so keep your "Avion Blitz" away from our Doritos bowl.

Please, fellas. Move your mouse to the upper right hand corner of this Hamptons.com article, and click it closed. Turn in your cocktail. Not your cock.