Serve Me Drinks, You Poor Person!

This is why I hate Hamptons party coverage. The obligatory slobber that neccessarily accompanies these things. Our victim: the Parrish Museum's Spring Fling! Which I'm sure is a well-intentioned meeting of the minds for both year-round and seasonal residents that happen to support and have a passion for the arts. But not according to Hamptons.com. No, it's so much more than that! It's practically the G-8 Summit.

My favorite line? And by favorite I mean the line that makes angels in heaven cry and punch a baby: "This is the major Southampton Spring event that brings out everyone who is anyone on the east end..." [emphasis, mine] Really? Sure, I mean look who was there! Dara Goldstein! Dr. Mark Kot! Countess Catherine Buxhoeveden!

Nothing? C'mon people, Kathy Rae!? Monica Ashe? What's with you people for not recogni...Suzanne Caldwall, Maria Greenlaw, Michael McDowell?!

Can we please take the phrase "everyone who is anyone" out behind the woodshed and shoot it once and for all? For once it would be nice to hear a lifestyle journalist from one of these rags acknowledge that everyone is someone. Alas, all our friend Sean MFK Bruns can muster is a few lauditory golf claps for the wait staff and how they managed to pull themselves out of the doldrums of being "no one" long enough to serve him his drinks at whim.