What We Need: More Suckup Hamptons Journalism

We noticed this in the "Goddammit" File of our RSS feed earlier this month and thought we'd share. Empty, vacant, and generally predictable Hamptons magazine is going to have some competition this coming summer, as yet another empty, vacant, and generally predictable suckup magazine is poised to hit the stands.

Manhattan Media, the owner of Dan's Papers, has hired Mark Drucker to publish a new title called...wait for it...Avenue At The Beach, a glossy magazine that will shockingly target the wealthy in the Hamptons. And by target, we mean literally follow them around to all their various charity events and take photographs of their fabulous fabulosity.

The New York Post broke the story a while back. Drucker was once the publisher of the now defunct because nobody cared then either Plum Hamptons. According to reports, Manhattan Media is supposed to be on the auction block, but they're going full speed ahead. And why not? It's not like there's a sad history of glossy magazines covering the Hamptons that have gone belly up.

Or...hmmm. Wait. Scratch that.

Anyhoo, we'll look forward to what this new magazine has in store for us. Our guess is that it will read something like: "Stunningly gorgeous, classy, elegant, fabulous inventor of puppies and rainbows Christie Brinkley was on hand to..."

Matter of fact we'll send that line to the staff at Avenue At The Beach as boiler-plate. Just swap out Brinkley's name for every other person they profile in that damn magazine, et viola!

According to The Post:

He’ll be competing with a former colleague, Cristina Cuomo, who was the editor of Plum Hamptons and is now the new editor-in-chief of Modern Luxury’s Manhattan magazine and will also be overseeing Modern Luxury Hamptons.

Oh my God, now there's TWO of these new magazines? Somebody got the douche-Gizmo wet. Somebody fed them after midnight.

Who knows, though, right? Maybe this magazine will turn a profit by offering content that will make people want to part with their dollars at the stand.

Avenue at the Beach will start modestly, sending 25,000 free copies out East in the June, July and August.

Sonofabitch.